Julie Lyles Carr: Monday Musings...Friends for Life..or for a Season?...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday Musings...Friends for Life..or for a Season?...

To let friendship die away by negligence and silence, is certainly not wise. It is voluntarily to throw away one of the greatest comforts of this weary pilgrimage...
                                                                        Samuel Johnson  

Some people collect antiques, some designer purses. Others search for collectible dishes, some for vintage lunchboxes.


I collect people.

Now don't go screaming off into the woods. I mean, I collect friends, personalities, voices that speak into my life. Even though I've lived all over the country and half way in between, I still exchange Christmas cards and letters with playmates I went to 2nd grade with (forgive my dangling participles--I'm in need of coffee). I have lived 18 years away from the amazing woman I consider one of my best friends in the world, she now in the northwest and me in the south. I had to leave my precious Fairy DiDi (you know who you are) back in my adopted hometown four years ago now. People are important to me, friendships with history are important to me. No friend left behind.

But this business of moving certainly can complicate the friendship thing.

In hanging on by reticent fingernails to the friendships in previous locales, I've often run the risk of missing new ones. In comparing the familiarity and coziness of the gal pals of hometowns past, the FFOOO (Future Friends of Octamom Organization)can be compromised in its needed growth. And in monitoring friendships from afar, it can become tricky to be available when and where needed while still appropriately being a steward of this fleeting resource we call time.

And then there are the friendships that have flowered as much as they can and now are sliding into an unpruned, viney mess of defeating patterns and ignored advice. It's not anger or misunderstanding or ill will; it's just an alliance that has become one-sided, a buddy system that requires you to always be the anchor for the rope while watching the sad patterns of a chaotic comrade follow yet another swing of self-defeating escapades...and you're expected to be there to clean up the mess....again.

So what do you think? What makes a friend for life and what makes a friend for a season? How do you manage your long-distance friendships? How do you stay relevant in each other's lives? What are the blessings of your friendships across state lines versus the friendships close to home? And is there a time when a friendship needs to be pruned back, not out of a major conflict or misunderstanding, but simply out of a change of seasons or a change in dynamic?

Feel free to comment below or write your own post on this topic and copy and paste the URL in the Mr Linky box. I'm excited to hear the experiences and wisdom in this newest category of friendship: Bloggin' Buds!

Related Posts with Thumbnails