I really would.
But I've had a little household chore going for which I must purposely turn off my brain and simply execute the necessary steps to complete the chore.
I speak, of course, of the fine art of scooping.
As in, toddler poop scooping.
Bath time can be going so well. Bubbles bubbling, toys floating, two cute toddlers splashing and washing off the food stains of the day.
And then it happens.
One of the twins will emit a high sonic frequency shriek. I wouldn't call it an early warning system in that the shriek is not emitted until the crime has already been committed, but a warning system nonetheless.
I love that word, nonetheless. It's even fun to type.
But I digress.
Once the shriek happens, it is my duty to begin to push aside mounds of frothy baby bath bubbles and begin a hard target search for something I really hope not to find.
But there it is.
Bobbing amongst the bath toys.
A bio-product that would be better delivered within the confines of a diaper, but is now part of the bath tub landscape. And then all heck breaks loose.
Because whichever twin has produced this lovely item does not want to be pulled out of the tub and scrubbed down in the shower. And whichever twin did not produce the lovely product can't be pulled out of the tub fast enough to be scrubbed down.
And that's how you can always tell who committed the deed.
And then there's always the practical question of how to extricate the inappropriate tub item in a sanitary manner without, um, smearing things outside the containment field, so to speak. I'm honing in on the best method. I find that a baby or antibacterial wipe seems to be the tool of choice for removing the offending item.
Don't try the removal phase with toilet paper. It seems intuitive enough, but once the toilet paper hits the moist surface of the bath tub, you will have created a most disturbing papier mache.
And then there's the question of the bath toys. Do we throw them out? Boil them in bleach for two hours? Burn them? It's a quandary.
So I would have treated you to a pithy, witty post today, but I was scooping. With two babies in the tub, it's a fairly frequent event.
And when you're in the fox hole, you've just got to deal.