Julie Lyles Carr: Sand Box Rules

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Sand Box Rules

It's about 1:30 in the morning and I have just pulled in the driveway from a quick day trip down to the coast.

Given my recent travel behaviors, I'm surprised none of you have called for an intervention.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day, temperate and clear, water and weather at the same temperature.

I love when the temperature differentiation between 'in the water' and 'out' is nil. Love it.

While I'm waiting for my Advil to kick in, I thought I should record a few observations on the beach experience today, a couple of pointers I picked up as we went about our sandy adventure.

1. If you bring three cans of spray sunscreen to the beach, one will be almost empty, another with be half-empty and the third one will be full. But the one that is full will suffer some kind of jam in its spray feature and will therefore be rendered unusable, which means that you will have to schlep it up to the beach concession store and buy two more cans of overpriced sunscreen so as to keep some kind of continuity in the universe. I think Einstein may have addressed this in one of his papers.

2. If an eleven year old tells you that she has applied sunscreen, you can believe her. She has applied sunscreen to the back of her knees. However, non-essential surfaces such as her nose, her cheeks, her ears, her chin, her neck and her shoulders will be exposed to the full brunt of the elements.

3. Strangely, I managed to burn the back of my knees.

4. Toddler swimsuits can hold more sand than a backhoe. Think ahead when you prepare to remove said swimsuits in your van.

5. Ditto for toddler swim diapers.

6. Corn starch is an excellent way to remove sand from the skin. I'm not sure what magic pixie dust reaction occurs, but I can assure you that sprinkling a generous amount of corn starch on sand infested skin will knock that granular grittiness right off. However, your tan will look a little dusty. And if you spill your box of corn starch while at the beach, it might give you the suspicious appearance of perhaps having discovered a brick of illegal substance bobbing in the surf and having it split open under your beach umbrella. Just a thought.

Well, I suppose it's time for me to go hunt down an out-of-date bottle of aloe with Lanicaine and call it a night. I'll be back with the requisite beach photos and some oceanic thoughts. But for now, I suppose I should go confess my solar sins to Oil of Olay and call it a night.

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