Julie Lyles Carr: Liberation...With a Sprinkle of Guilt

Friday, January 20, 2012

Liberation...With a Sprinkle of Guilt


What a wonderful, crazy, sickly, busy week.

Sheesh.

I've been immersed in Immerse Austin, loving and fretting and worrying and fulfilled by all the details and planning and phone calls and meetings. Most of the kids came down with a major tummy bug at the beginning of the week...which went to the middle of the week....right up until I came down with a raging fever yesterday afternoon and the threat of nausea myself. My precious aunt was supposed to come see me today, and we had to wave her off, not wanting to infect her.

Lovely.

2 of 8 has a major dance convention this weekend. Mike's been up to his eyeballs in business. 1 of 8 started back at the university this week. Between all the barfing and new beginnings and events, it's been a swirl.

And so I made a decision.

A big one for me.

After almost 4 and a half years of posting to this blog Every Single Day, I didn't.

I didn't.

It was bizarre. And liberating.  And a truly deliberated decision on my part.

And I felt a bit guilty.

But then I had to think about 'Why guilt'?

Those of you who are regular readers know that I don't mind at all sharing our ups and downs and achievements and challenges. Anyone who comes to my house knows that sometimes you can use the guest bathroom. And sometimes you can't. Running a household of 10 people comes with mess and crazy schedules and multiple things left half undone. And it's okay with me for folks to know that. I've made my peace with it.

But maybe, in some little corner of my ego, I wanted to appear to at least have it together enough to post everyday. Even if it was just a quote. Or a verse. Or a picture. But my life kicked my ego tail this week.

I'm thinking it was good for me.

Once I gave myself permission to let it go a bit. And feel a little guilt over it. And then move on.

There is incredible discipline and benefit to consistency. To stick to the workout schedule. To stay on the healthy eating plan. To journal, to schedule.

To post.

And then, every now and then, there may be benefit to letting the consistency go. And it may actually take some discipline to do it.

And maybe it's good for us. Every now and then.

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